Archive for the ‘Personal Ramblings’ Category

BLAHging

August 29, 2009

Sorry for the long blogging break. At first I justified it by my trip, then when I got back it became about collecting my ideas to finally flesh out the dozen entry stems I have waiting in the wordpress lineup. After long enough I just turned against blogging in general. The self importance that fuels its updates. The cringing, whirling feeling of self-loathing that envelops me every time I press that deceptively tranquil blue “publish” button. If only the word itself sounded a little more dignified, and less like a verb for hocking up phlegm. It definitely stacks up negatively by the facial feedback test – as you say it -“blahhhging” your face is drawn into a grimace, which in its subtle way physically reinforces any sentiment you had to begin with (I actually don’t know of any research to back up the correlation between the emotional charge of a word and the parallel expression formed in pronouncing it, but it’s long been my suspicion that it’s no coincidence that “happy” draws your lips up, imitating a smile, and “sad” does the opposite.)

However what drew me back, and draws me in in the first place, is that removed from all its douchey associations, at its core, blogging is really just self publishing. By using an interactive forum where I can be held accountable if I suck or fall behind, I have motivation to improve my writing, and ultimately, clarify my own thought. But I can’t pretend that blogging still doesn’t make me feel like an asshole. There’s comfort, even vanity, in keeping thought limited to its private, transient swish within our own mental spheres. Yet it can also be deluding, and I’ll often find that my intellectual self esteem fails to hold up when it comes to real interpersonal life. Blogging strikes me as a chance to start to bridge that communication gap.

Chelsea Morning

August 3, 2009

I’m in Chelsea, England. It’s a famous, lovely, and pretty globalized little town that has seen some shit go down in its days (at various times it was home to Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, and the Rolling Stones, in addition to being the birthing ground of King’s Road hippies and British Invasion punks)

We’re staying in a house with my dad, sister, and stepfamily. Hotel prices were so expensive and rental prices were so cheap we decided to  go with the latter option. It’s a little creepy because the family has pictures of themselves everywhere, so it feels like we’re squatting. My theory is they are kept them all up so we would see them more as real people, thereby easing our klepto urges (if you ever want to make sure your stuff doesn’t get stolen, put a picture of a baby somewhere – I read about some study that showed people are much more likely to return wallets with pictures of babies inside, as opposed to pictures of puppies or yourself)

I have very little idea what time it is. The morning sometime. There seems to be no way of finding out – none of the automatic clocks are set in the house, and this laptop is on Atlanta time. True I could just look up what the time difference is. True I could search out a traditional clock (I actually think I hear one ticking in the background). But all of these options require effort – besides, I’m kind of enjoying letting the morning play out just by its light and not by its time label.

In my psychology e-book there was a section on how lights have caused people to live by an unnatural 25-hour day schedule. When they barrage animals with the kind of light schedule we have, they adopt this schedule too, and become more groggy, confused, and lethargic as a result. I can honestly only remember a handful of times in my life when I’ve woken up totally refreshed and energized, but I bet back in the day that was the norm. It never seems right that we live lifestyles where at least a quarter of the class is half-asleep every morning, and where many need a caffeine jumpstart just to function at all. This kind of thing brings out the uni-bomber in me.

So in a week we’re taking a ferry to Belfast, Ireland, where we’ll be checking out my stepmom’s house, among other things. My entries will probably be sporadic as usual, but I’ll try to get down the trip highlights!